what does it mean?

its not that i'm trying to be negative but its just something in me that have seems to make me a bit bitter when it comes to eid....yeah...some people r going nuts when it comes to this...shopping as if there is no tomorrow...redecorating the house...new furniture..ect2....huhuhuhuhu

when i was still a toddler eid was one of the most happiest times...no schools! *yeay!* balik kampung *yeay!* firecracker *yeay!* happy happy joy joy!!!! but as i gets older as i mature *i think i am* i became lost of interest in eid...i don't know why? but i think it has to be because of my family's condition...even though its getting better but thing can't be as what as its used to be...

people tends to spend a lot for eid...baju raya,kasut raya,langsir raya,perabut raya,kueh raya and the most important is duit raya..hahaahaha...sometimes they get overboard an spend up to thousand of RM for a glamorous baju raya that they will actually wear it once...hihihihi..i've been through in similar situation but it doesn't cost me thousands but it is an expensive attire and i only wear it once for my cousin's wedding...*ok enough about me*

raya....what does it mean? happiness? sadness?

have i lost it??? have i lost the true meaning hari raya?? or i'm just ignoring it as if it brings me sad and unforgivable bitter memories?? where have i gone wrong?? i'm suppose to be happy.. eid is the celebration of victory surpassing the month of Ramadan..a month of fasting...a month of abstinent...a month to purify our soul...but y am i being so damn bitter about this???

i dont know...i'm just not being myself now days...dont mind me...i'm used to this..

wishing all of the readers selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin...have a happy n save eid mubarak...

thats all for now

-roger n out-