the past

today is the beginning of the fasting month...hurm...

last night, past came back and haunt me *not in scary way*..it got me thinking bout what had happen in my life a year before...got me think bout a particular person..

mohd idham bin yaacob

yeah its he's en ex boyfriend of mine....the longest committed relationship i ever had in my life......and the most hardest to get over with....i called him every single day without miss to wake him up at 7a.m every morning...than he went to work...we were texting every single day without fail...we talk about everything...all the good and the bad...i was preparing myself to be a good wife for him in the future...but that's all gone now...i've moved on....he's moved on...

i've been in a few relationship after him...but i keep thinking bout him...i compare how other guys treat me to the way he treat me...but everyone is not the same...

i had an argument with the current guy that i'm involve with and that makes me thinking of idham so bad and i called him...*with my other num that he obviously didnt know of course*......he pick up the called....actually i've prepared the thing that i wanted to say to him.....

prepared speech : "hi...ingat kite lagi x?....sje je call nk cakap selamat berpuasa....ok lah 2 jer...bye"

but....things didnt go as planned....he said hello....after months i havent heard his voice, and it hits me...my tears starts to fall...yes....i cried....i'm speechless all of sudden...i know he heard that i was crying...he know it was me.....an apology came out of him...apology for what had happen and another for the things that didnt....

how i wish things didnt go this way....how i wish everything could be better again..how i really wish that he was by my side again...how i wish he was mine again...i missed him...i guess this entry is just to tell a little about him....my past...*sad*

this was taken on the last day we met before we broke up

that all for now..

-roger n out-