ayam2

kau ingat kau sape nk ayam2 kan aku???

kau sedar x kau 2 sape???

kau igt sng2 aku nk lepaskn kau???

kau da malukn aku kau nk blah mcm 2???

kau salah org la weh!!!

mr H

thank u so for coming in my life

you're awesome

just love everything about u

hoping for the best

take care n i miss u

what does it mean?

its not that i'm trying to be negative but its just something in me that have seems to make me a bit bitter when it comes to eid....yeah...some people r going nuts when it comes to this...shopping as if there is no tomorrow...redecorating the house...new furniture..ect2....huhuhuhuhu

when i was still a toddler eid was one of the most happiest times...no schools! *yeay!* balik kampung *yeay!* firecracker *yeay!* happy happy joy joy!!!! but as i gets older as i mature *i think i am* i became lost of interest in eid...i don't know why? but i think it has to be because of my family's condition...even though its getting better but thing can't be as what as its used to be...

people tends to spend a lot for eid...baju raya,kasut raya,langsir raya,perabut raya,kueh raya and the most important is duit raya..hahaahaha...sometimes they get overboard an spend up to thousand of RM for a glamorous baju raya that they will actually wear it once...hihihihi..i've been through in similar situation but it doesn't cost me thousands but it is an expensive attire and i only wear it once for my cousin's wedding...*ok enough about me*

raya....what does it mean? happiness? sadness?

have i lost it??? have i lost the true meaning hari raya?? or i'm just ignoring it as if it brings me sad and unforgivable bitter memories?? where have i gone wrong?? i'm suppose to be happy.. eid is the celebration of victory surpassing the month of Ramadan..a month of fasting...a month of abstinent...a month to purify our soul...but y am i being so damn bitter about this???

i dont know...i'm just not being myself now days...dont mind me...i'm used to this..

wishing all of the readers selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin...have a happy n save eid mubarak...

thats all for now

-roger n out-

sakit hati!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!

u just broke my heart!!!!

thank u so much dear....

malu ckp je r malu...i know who i am...i'm not perfect...well i hope that u would understand...but u make me feel much worst than what i'm feeling now...again thank u so much!

hubbybaby

he is so sweet!!!

with my loved ones...(fwens n him)

just love them so much...

especially u hubbymucuk...

hehehehehhe

mmg gle rmai org

budak tembam da smpi!!!

walaupon da order kt kdai mkn mucuk i tetap bli gak kueh teow ni...

ha..gayut ng spe tuh!

lambchop combo..sedapnyer..

beefsteak..mmmm

chikenchop cowboy..*drool*

muke kekenyang

primadonut..hahaha

lepas da kenyang kite round2 kt kg bru 2 cari mercun plak sbb ade org 2 gian sgt nk men mercun...hehehehe..pusing punye pusing bli punye bli..da puas ati bli mercun ape lg? ~gerak~heheeheh....g tgk bola plak kt wangsa mju...hehehe..ade org 2 smangat gle ciap pkai jersey man u...hehehehe

peace!

fara tomey!

hehehehe

happy2!

cak!

love

ahaks..

sgt2 best lepak ng korg..sgt2 syg kt korng!!! nanti lepak sme lg yer...love u guys!!!!

snap pic senyap2..hehehe

thats all for now..

-roger n out-

mcm2 hal la

haish....

asyik wat entri english jer....kali ni wat bahasa melayu plak...bahasa ibunda...hehehehe..

hari ni sgt best....byk benda yg kelakar trjadi..hahaha..x tahu nk start dr mana...start ng si S dlu la....dye sgt la psycho freak *dye sendiri mengaku k* kje nk menipu jer...adoi ai....igt time ng kite je dye menipu ng yg skarang pon nk menipu??? hidup ni karma beb...jgn igt ko bole bwt sesuka hati....God is great....satu hari t ko akan dapat gak balasan....

lagi 1 si H plak..si bodoh,pengecut.....kite on la ym nk chat ng some1....dye tgh on9 taw....nmpk je kite on9....dye trus invi...dah la hutang ak still x habis byr lg...jantan pengecut...hahahaha...hutang tetap hutang beb...sampai mati pon slagi ko x byr hutang aku tuh....smpi mati pon aku x halalkn....ko x yah la nk lari2 bkn ssh pon nk cari engkau...ko tu bdoh, elok2 dpt blaja kt university kne tendang...haaa..puas aty ak kutuk ko....

mnguji kesabar btol la kali ni....dlm bln puasa lak 2....xpe2....

that all for now

-roger n out-

the past

today is the beginning of the fasting month...hurm...

last night, past came back and haunt me *not in scary way*..it got me thinking bout what had happen in my life a year before...got me think bout a particular person..

mohd idham bin yaacob

yeah its he's en ex boyfriend of mine....the longest committed relationship i ever had in my life......and the most hardest to get over with....i called him every single day without miss to wake him up at 7a.m every morning...than he went to work...we were texting every single day without fail...we talk about everything...all the good and the bad...i was preparing myself to be a good wife for him in the future...but that's all gone now...i've moved on....he's moved on...

i've been in a few relationship after him...but i keep thinking bout him...i compare how other guys treat me to the way he treat me...but everyone is not the same...

i had an argument with the current guy that i'm involve with and that makes me thinking of idham so bad and i called him...*with my other num that he obviously didnt know of course*......he pick up the called....actually i've prepared the thing that i wanted to say to him.....

prepared speech : "hi...ingat kite lagi x?....sje je call nk cakap selamat berpuasa....ok lah 2 jer...bye"

but....things didnt go as planned....he said hello....after months i havent heard his voice, and it hits me...my tears starts to fall...yes....i cried....i'm speechless all of sudden...i know he heard that i was crying...he know it was me.....an apology came out of him...apology for what had happen and another for the things that didnt....

how i wish things didnt go this way....how i wish everything could be better again..how i really wish that he was by my side again...how i wish he was mine again...i missed him...i guess this entry is just to tell a little about him....my past...*sad*

this was taken on the last day we met before we broke up

that all for now..

-roger n out-

seasons

yeah...

we all know that Malaysia is not a four season country...but we still do have other kind of season in Malaysia...hehehehe..

first, the famous festive season..as a multi-culture n multi-races country we our 3 main races here in Malaysia : Malay,Chinese,Indian...meaning? 3 different main festive...Hari Raya, Chinese New Year n Depavali...

we also famous with fruits season...like rite now...at the side walk, at the side of highways we can see that there are many fruits mongers selling local fruits...in segamat, durians of course!!!!

another kind of seasons that is taking place in malaysia....is FLU SEASON...and it caught me...my nose is stuffed with mucus...it makes me hard to breath...my head feels like going to explode...my throat hurts...argh!!!!! hate it damn much!!! i feel so weak....wish i was back home in kl...huhuhuhu T.T ...i miss my mom cooking...i know that this flu will go away once i had her warm savory fish ball sup....i need that so bad...

flu season....sucks!!!!

thats all for now

-roger n out-

life

as i was standing in front of the icu yesterday and saw my cousin crying and all...it makes me sad...so sad i cant even looked at them...i cant imagine how would i act when its my turn...

i can see that my aunt is a very beautiful-hearted women...its the first time i saw so many people were there n pray to god..praying so that she will be better again..so many people love her....and i do too...its kinda of a miracle too..the doctor at first said that her lungs cant function anymore..n she wont be able to breath on her own..

alhamdulillah..now she is stable and has woken up from the unconsciousness..and we got a call saying that she already talk..that's a total relief for all of us...i felt like crying but i hold it in...to many people around..hehehehe

i remember even after what had happen to my family..we are still a family to her...she never discriminate my family...thats y i came all the way to see her...

since last night i feel a bit unwell..i got stuffy nose and a bit sore-throat...maybe coz i didnt sleepwell..*is it necessary?* :P

fyi yesterday was abah n mama's birthday!!!! i almost totally forget about it..its okay..abah turn 63 n mama 61...still going strong..love u guys so much!!!!

i guess thats all for now

-roger n out-

'a'part??

am i still apart of all this??
if i'm not i'll leave...
it does hurt....
n it keep hurting every time even i'm there..
seems like i'm not there...
do i even exist???
seems like not to me...
what can i do??
its life..
too bad i saw all of this on my birthday...
happy birthday to me...

going home

cant wait to get back in kl..

miss everyone there!!!!

going out of my mind

what is this post is all bout???

i'm not sure....
bcoz the feeling is still there...."he doesnt even care!" my head said to me..."dont listen to it! he does but give him more time to realize it" my heart said...what am i suppose to do???

"just follow ur heart my dear" A said 2 me..."are u crazy???just forget him!!!he's not worth it" B said to me...haish...dilemma...go with my heart??? or just go with the flow???

its hard...i hate making decision...never been good at it...maybe thats y this kind of thing happen 2 me...never think about the consequences...now i'm the 1 is at fault...

argh!!!!!!

i miss him....is he missing me 2???? not sure...cant sleep...keep thinking bout him....how's he doing??? is he ok??? wht is he doing rite now?? has he eaten??? all of tht keep playing in my mind...making me go out of my head...

I’m not the type to get my heart broken

I’m not the type to get upset and cry

Coz I never leave my heart open

Never hurts me to say goodbye

Relationships don’t get deep to me

Never get the whole in love thing

If someone could say love me truly

But at the time it didn’t mean a thing

My mind is gone I’m spinnin’ around

And deep inside

My tears I’ll drown

I’m losing grip

What’s happening?

I stray from love

This is how I feel

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And they cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I’m in this condition

And I’ve got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you’ll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?

coz its hurting me to let it go maybe

coz we spent so much time and

I know that it’s no more

I should have never let u hold me baby

Maybe why I’m so sad to see us apart

I didn’t give it to u on purpose

Gotta figure out how u stole my heart

My mind is gone I’m spinnin’ around

And deep inside

My tears I’ll drown

I’m losing grip

What’s happening?

I stray from love

This is how I feel

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And they cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I’m in this condition

And I’ve got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you’ll never see me cry

How did I get here with you?

I’ll never know I never meant to let it get so personal

And after all I tried to do

To stay away from love with you

I’m broken-hearted I can’t let you know

And I Won’t Let It Show

You won’t see me cry

This time was different

Felt like I was just a victim

And they cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I’m in this condition

And I’ve got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you’ll never see me cry

Now I’m in this condition

And I’ve got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you’ll never see me cry

All my life

so i better stop crying!!!!

thats all for now..

-roger n out-